A fellow artist kicks me in the rear

I am attending an amazing workshop in *eeek* Ireland ! *double eeek* in two weeks. She posted she has a blog that is beginning and would like to start a little group of us to form a tribe if you will. So I thanked her for the nudge and will be reopening my blog (onceirememberhowtoputitalltoetheragain). Get ready for lots of photos on ART, FOOD, RUINS, PEOPLE, SHOES, WEIRD THINGS and more from Ireland and then Italy! Feels good to be back.

A Stranger and a lime green guitar

Oh goodness, I did it again, didn’t I?  It has been three months since I posted..about the time I last shaved my legs.  Both are lost in forests somewhere.  You know how life gets in the way and your addiction to Facebook takes all your time?  me, too.  I did do a Christmas home tour post but I never sent it- does that count?

So, I am the strange(r) but the lime green guitar – WOA!  Sing with me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou-FeOoKDq4&feature=player_detailpage

Oh sorry.  I am telling the story of the guitar…Once upon a time, a Nana was driving to see her grandbabies.  What to her amazing eyes should appear?  A guitar in a trash pile.  A TRASH pile with a guitar in it.  Anytime there is a trash pile, my pilot just swerves- literally (if you see my car please get out of the way).  Being in the cover of the dark, I gleefully jumped out of my car, grabbed the guitar, jumped back in and shouted “YEEEHAWWW I gotta guitar!” (no just teasing about that).

I immediately thought it would be fabulous to create a piece of art for Hot Boy but had to keep it hidden from Mr Mark for a while because he just doesn’t ‘get’ it sometimes.  I have learned to show him things after they are completed!

So…drum roll…here it is !

and one proud boy..

Listen to douladebis Playlist

70s songs, deja vu and colored condoms (not necessarily related)

Gotcha didn’t I?  With a title like that you were probably thinking this blog entry was going to be a doozy…well…it is going to be fun but not given a restricted rating.

I spent the day in a “Reproductive Health” education meeting.  The day started magnificently with 70s tunes on the radio.  The broadcaster innocently played popular songs but since my brain was ticking away on what the meeting was about, the titles became convulated or twisted for those of you who do not know big words and nor do you care to learn them.  You ain’t seen nothin yet….hmmmm….another one bites (the dust) and then Who’s Crying Now hit my funny bone.  The people in the cars I passed (while going the speed limit – I think – it doesn’t matter now anyway) must have thought I was recovering from another bad episode of laughing gas.  Wait!  that made me weird out not in a good way.  moving on…

I got a drink through the drive through and discovered that some ladies have more facial hair than my white dog (hope none fell into my drink). And someone’s morning was not as good as mine….. they sort of plowed into a row of brand new and expensive cars in the car lot !  How embarassing…

What I learned at the Reproductive Health training:

Don’t go by instructions on where trainings are being held.  The registration said one city and one hotel when in fact it was held in another city in another hotel.  How come only two of us were not told this?  Well, like I have always told my mom:  you can never hide from me – I will find you anywhere !  and I have proven that once again.

Our meeting was next door to a vintage guitar sale. Which means nothing to this blog except they looked pretty cool.

We were told post-partum depression symptoms included:  not showering, not doing hair or makeup, walking around in a nightgown all day and no smile on the face.  I now know I have suffered from post-partum depression for 48 years.  There.  I feel better now…

monogrammed coffee travel cup.  don’t know why I wrote that down in my notes.

Suddenly in the middle of the training somewhere between the Mirena IUD and the cervical cap I had an epiphany.  I felt like I had been in the exact meeting before !  You know, that deja vu thing people talk about.  Good thing I didn’t stand up and shout Hallelujia because the guys next door would have been pulling out their dollar bills.

The estimated cost of having your whole body tattooed is $30-60,000.  Oh sorry.  My mind wandered.

Professional women actually use the term “sex workers” in public.  “Sex workers”?  and they said it with straight faces?  The guitar sale people next door where probably peering through the crack in the door at this point.

I discovered the chosen birth control for me in 1987 had a 9% pregnancy rate if used correctly.  Well, I used it correctly but Hello Ashley!

Condoms are given out holiday color coded.  Which means red and green for Christmas, black and orange for Halloween, holes in them for Labor Day (just kidding – I made that one up).  I personally think this is a good idea because girls like to match and be fashionable.  Remember:  it’s not about your shoe color, it’s about the color of your condom.  Pretty 2010?

I learned that IUD strings are like fishing twine and should not be cut too short because, well…we don’t need to go into that on this family oriented blog but I should just say it can become uncomfortable.

and the last thing which has annoyed me for 20 years.  Why do speakers take the time to print off their power point presentation (oh gosh. They didn’t have power point 20 years ago, did they?) when you can’t even read them?  The graphs, etc are wayyyy toooo small….. What’s the point ? (pun intended)

Have a wonderful weekend!

the end.

Tis the season for Terrifically Tacky Target

 

((Disclaimer:  The author of the blog entry you find below, is not to be held responsible for any eye treatment deemed necessary after viewing the above mentioned post due to straining of eyes on bad photography based on the capacities of current technology known as a purpleberry transmission.))

Ok.  I love Christmas.  Like really love it.  So while searching for ideas for a Winter banner I am making, Meghan and I hit the Christmas aisles in our local Target (pronounced tar jay).

Tacky apparently is the theme this year but one must dress appropriately when shopping for Christmas and it is not me being tacky because I wore these:

and chucks are NOT tacky.  They are cool.  Cause I wear them. and these high tops came from Vegas which is a cool place to shop.  and no I don’t walk like this. and yes I learned to tie my shoes at the appropriate age.

We were shocked at what we found.  Frightened. Disturbed. First we saw this.

Seriously?  Straws for people who have small mouths?

And then we saw this….

A unicorn with pink feathers?  I felt nausea wash over me.  and Target pronounced tar jay actually pays a DESIGNER to DESIGN these things?

and then we saw this:

 Oh no! Blazing saddles !  What have they done?  This is a nightmare!  My legs started trembling – so badly I had to sit down.  Right there in the aisle.  Really.  You can see me on the 11/20/10 8:14 roll of security film. 

Wait!  That’s it !  I am on Hidden Camera! oh. They don’t film that anymore. 

 Oh!  I know now – I am on What Would You Do? !  But no one came rushing in to tell me they were creating a documentary on tacky Christmas ornaments and the people who fight for their rights.

and then we saw this…

 BLACK SNOWFLAKES!  OH MY GOSH!  I hate dirty snow!  Does Target (pronounced tar jay) donate a portion of the purchase price to the “Prevention of Dirty Snowflakes Int.”  or perhaps the “West Virginian’s Against Coal Dust Covered Snow”?

At this point, I was frantically searching my knock-off purse to locate the barf bag that I kept from my recent trip to Vegas.  Folks.  This has got to stop!  Meghan and I just knew we needed to get out of this aisle FAST so we did what sane women do…. went for chocolate therapy:

Have you had one of these luscious, slobber inspiring, gifts from Hershey’s?  Ohhhhhhh. Awwwwwwwwwwww.  Yummmmmmmyyyyyyyyy….. sigh……

One last look down the TTTA (terrifically tacky target anonymous) aisle sealed the deal on my needing PTSD treatment in-house. 

Who puts armadillos on a Christmas tree? Blingy ones?  They have prehistoric scales and look all puffed up and usually lay on their backs by the sides of highways don’t they?  Would you even associate them with Christmas?  No!  duh.

I am having a breakdown. 

 I don’t think I am going to be purchasing new ornaments unless it is for target practice. 

This day has made me so distraught, I can’t even begin to organize this entry to where it looks nice…. oh well.  My shoes are pretty!

Until next time when the chucks have another adventure…..

the end.

Celeb citing, end of fall fest, and other random thoughts

Today found me in a shopping frenzy, a chucks quest, and in paparazzi mode.

First up. shopping

To all those people who have asked me for sage advice when visiting Vegas for their first time….I bow to you.  I have warned a multitude of you to wear comfortable shoes.

worn shoes.

shoes that have become a part of you ….

and I didn’t today… Look what happens.

BEWARE:  gross picture coming up!

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t know why but I am in the mood to sing!

(sing with me to the tune of a Christmas song that we all know and love….)

On the fifth day of Christmas, Debi did see:

5 men who aren’t real (elmo, michael jackson, stone man, johnny Depp and Jedi)

4 guitar players bumming

3 Elvis’ gyrating

2 flamingo dancers/strippers accepting money

1 girl getting her picture taken with the strip club promoters

and a character from Toy Story….

Ta da !

Tomorrow we shall fly back home but yet this city has a way of returning home with you.  I have become a fan of smart screens (played with them all over the place) and am now on an iPad quest, washed my hands along side  men in the Todd English restaurant PUB (their toilets are separate from their sink area-sort of weird), and eaten bread pudding that had Captain Crunch in it which I will never do again.

I have also experienced ghosts in my room, weird people thinking this room belongs to people they actually know, and found myself in a changing room with a man creating  Christmas trees out of paper plates (ok. let’s talk about this one.  I was in Anthro trying on pants. came out of the dressing room because pants were way tooo long. saw a man standing there putting together a tree made from paper plates. so being the creative person I am. I go up to him -mind you we are in a CHANGING ROOM- and start doing the only-artists-truly-get-each-other-talk talk and say – did you do this all yourself?  and yes he did!  and his name is Tate and he is in charge of displays for Anthro of Vegas. and he is beyond cool. and very nice. and I totally forgot how truly bizarre carrying on a converation with a man I do not know in a ladies’ changing room should be. He is awesome.  I want to take him home with me and hold him prisoner in my art room so I have a creative playmate (and no, not in that way you dirty minded people).

Here is one of his creations that he probably put together in the changing room, too.

It is made of  squares cut out of magazines, etc and crinkled pieces of copper.  They are stapled together in groups of 8 or ten.

and then stapled together in a huge piece of art.  all I can say is..

w o w…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that wraps up the trip so far.  I am energized.  My brain is exploding with creative juices.  and I am desperately trying to wedge a 6’8″ man into my suitcase.

the end

 

Fall Fest, second leg

We made it to Vegas in record time.  According to our pilot, we were 30 minutes ahead of schedule when we landed…does this mean he broke the speed limit?  Glad the air police weren’t watching..

It all began in the Dulles airport.  The ticket man came to Mark and I and asked if we would be willing to change seats to be by the emergency exit.  He actually told Mark he needed two people who spoke English!  Ironically, he was Hispanic with a HEAVY accent  LOL  So we, being the world-seasoned gracious travelers that we are, said sure… up we moved on the plane from row 26 to row 21 (or about there I can’t remember so please do not look it up but just trust me to say it was a big plane with two wings and a good engine)….then I did the Debi panic thing combined with a tad bit of whining.. Debi:  but I want a window  Mark:  you will have one they always have a window   Debi:  (whining increases expontentially to the occasion) but I really have to have one  …  Mark:  (sensing a temper tantrum quickly approaching):  ok ,  I will ask …. Mark asks ticket guy-with-the-heavy-accent says he will move us….now we are on row 9!  Joke is on the airline:  they asked if we understood English but not if I could HEAR it !! LOL  (those of you who don’t personally know me…I do have a *snicker* slight hearing impairment..um….  

We get in line to board and they are doing body searches!  You know how you start to have sweaty palms and your heart starts beating out of your chest and you strive to maintain innocence on your face which just makes you reek guiltiness and you begin to think you may be a bad person but you know you are not but the airline has this hypnotic effect on your brain so your pheromones become all screwed up?  yeah, me too…

Once we board, we realize our row is second from the front in the business section.  I don’t have a seat in front of me which means this.

Vegas is always fun.  Except when two people are sleep deprived and that coupled with time change and the 3 hr time difference makes us sleepy at 6pm and wide awake at 4am!  It never fails…we say we are going to eat at these fabulous restaurants and we never do because we are propping our eyes open at lunchtime.  

Notes to future Vegas tourists:

Elvis eats Lunchables and downs them with Diet Coke

Boa constrictors are on the street

People sunbathe fully dressed at 10am on windy days

Chucks can be found (in case you are wondering).  I bought a pair.

and another pair just because when you are in vegas it is legal.  Rule 472:85

Elvis is alive.  I saw him.  Really.

Spagos is still the best.

Olives does not serve olives. 

Donney and Bourke hipsters can be found for cheap. not in a kiosk in a dark alley. and they are real!

There are characters of all movies present: Elvis, silver elvis, princess lea, darth vader and someones from a war movie who was painted dark green all over.

Lots of art, too!  a female accordian player,  magician, comedian, and a painting commissioned for the new city center tram that looks like porno if you look closely at it….(?)  but since I didn’t take my camera and only had my purpleberry to document, I was stingy with my picture taking.

  I do get like that sometimes.  honest.  I know there are many of you out there who would never believe that I could be stingy because I truly am not…well, I don’t think so…

moving on

Beer also flies here according to Chef Todd English.  I didn’t see it but we were charged for a beer flight.  I am still looking in the sky to see if I see beer flying up above.

Our suitcase was sent to Denver.  Entire story goes like this.  Me sitting in the new row by the emergency door, not hearing a thing, but watching the luggage go up a belt into our plane.  Saw Markees go up….thought I saw mine go up.  Fast forward through bad movie on plane, lawyer/cpa obsessing with her laptop over IRS junk the entire flight with elbows out so markee couldn’t even use his tray and a screech landing in which we thought the pilot must have awakened from his slumber at the last minute.  We go to baggage turnthing #13 (of course!  be in vegas where 13 is your lucky number) where some anger management attendees are below ground and venting their emotions in a positive manner by throwing our luggage to us and there’s markees!!!! woooooo!   woo!  wo……no mine…..still no mine…waiting a little longer….no mine…..go to lost luggage where we discover the conveyor belt at the back of the plane in Dulles broke so they just didn’t load the rest but sent them on to Denver.    Long story.  I got my suitcase back after 1am.

Long post but it ends nicely:

(Disclaimer: the author of this blog post does not in any way reflect the teaching of the English Language by her fabulous high school English teachers.  It does reflect the fact that the stores are now open and she is itching to get to Anthropologie and Caesars palace so she is typing fast fueled by a diet coke. )

Fall adventure ’10- First leg

Here I sit in a Panera bread that sounds like a Starbucks and smells like one, too but since I have been here since 9am I guess it is a Panera bread trying to act like a Starbucks at breakfast.   in Reston, Virginia which is right out of DC.  The hotel is fabulous and for $99 a night it is a steal.  It has been quite an adventure getting here, which is our first stop on our fall fest.  What I have learned:

1.  When you board a plane and you see a traveler give a hug to the worker who is storing her too large carryon and you ask the pilot who is standing there greeting all his terrified Xanax filled guests as they board what they think may be their last trip ever if today is “free hug” day and he says ‘sure’ and opens wide his arms and you rush to give him a hug so he will keep you safe so it won’t be your last flight except hopefully upward…. you discover Pilots Are People, too!

2.  Sorry about the run on sentence previously  but my fingers just flew and my brain could not keep up with them.

3.  You discover that your husband is one of these ‘need Xanax to travel’ people and you make note in your journal for an appointment so that 1, you can medicate him on your next trip or 2,you can medicate yourself so you don’t care what he says or does.

4.  I vote 2.

5.  Don’t believe weather.com…they lie.  I firmly believe they have hidden satellite cameras focusing on the people who searched their site for over two weeks so packing could be done efficiently and are laughing hysterically within the warm and dry confines of their corporate office while the unbeknowing travelers packed the incorrect attire for the actual true weather and are huddled in Panera-who-wants-to-be-starbucks because going anywhere is too cold and too wet.

6.  Sorry about another run on sentence.  This time it was because I am                       F R E E Z I N G and my hands are shaking uncontrollably.  (see #5)

7.  Panera bread-who-wants-to-be-starbucks has an elevator in it ….for two steps. 

8.  People in Reston/DC do interviews in restaurants and Panera bread-who-wants-to-be-starbucks. 

9.  Cochlear implants will always have batteries die the minute you are about to place your order, which means, you excuse yourself (because you don’t know sign language other than some nasty words) and move to a table to put new batteries in and then get back in line which has grown to wrap around the block (just teasin about the block thing).

10.  It is wise to perform a covert investigation of shopping before you book a hotel so you can act surprised when your spouse says ‘oh there is an Anthropologie” or “oh there is the Paper Source”…like duh…I didn’t know that already?  and he wonders about the vicinity being so convenient….

11.  It would be ok if one of my daughters married the shuttle driver from Nepal but they couldn’t move there.  He is such a sweetie!

12.  Ironically to the left is a large fountain and to the right is an ice skating rink…..different sides of the equator perhaps?

13.  Dinners at 3:30 make you go to sleep at 7 and sleep for 13.5 hours…literally….did they put something in my fabulous pot roast… is that why they called it POT roast when it was really an english roast?

14.   no umbrella + rain + cold – accuracy of weather.com – leaving your coat at home at the dry cleaners = your need for comfort = shopping.

15.  Panera bread-who-wants-to-be-a-starbucks makes great vanilla/cranberry/brown sugar bagels…here’s a picture:

oh sorry….I ate it.

At least my shoes match today (another story, another day)!

I am headed back to Paper Source.

the end

One for the Boy!

I can finally post pictures of the artwork I made Tyler because I finally got it to him!  This piece is 36X48 – sort of large.

Sitting on a chair shows its dimensions

 

Markee and I were returning home from Cincinnati (having spent a weekend with our great travel buddies Barb and Bob) and found a street antique fair.  Of course, I wanted to stop and he so graciously pulled off the interstate.

We found two boxes of vintage clock springs and whatnot metal pieces.  The dealer wanted to sale them by the piece but Markee talked him down to $20 total!  I painted the background in blacks and a little silver, grunged it a little (actually I had to hold myself back because I wanted to totally grunge this thing and make it cry), and then glued the clock springs on with jewelry glue (caution:  fingers stick together when glue touches them- thought I would let you know).  I knew from the get go that these parts were going to make a fabulous gift for Tyler, my outdoorsman/biker dude/ultra cool son.

Here are some closeups:

The wire mesh I have hoarded for years!

Antiquities

What’s a girl to do when her husband is out of town spending a lot of money on golf carts and lost balls ?  Why, she goes estate sale shopping of course! 

My lovely daughter M,  Baby Trent and I piled in the car and headed out Saturday morning.  We wound up two towns away at an estate sale.  Don’t you get a rush when you see that sign…..

 E S T A T E        S A L E

   Awwwwwwww, say it with me ESTATE SALE !  My heart starts pounding, my brain is screaming “Just park the car !  Now people get out of my way!”,  my breath comes in short gasps “go (pant pant), GO  (panting more), GOOOOOOOO  (I am at the hyperventilating stage by the time we actually unlock our car doors) !!!!!!!

I have to refrain myself from rudely leaving Baby Trent strapped in his car seat because I just need (absolutely MUST) get into that house.  There are people walking in ahead of my and they are going to get MY STUFF  you know, the stuff that means more to you than anyone else so you deserve it stuff? !

Once inside a polite head nod at the estate sale facilitators ( just came up with that job description which happens to be my dream job) is required because one must make a good impression for better prices (oh, and bringing up better prices – I always remember to dress down for this occasion so I look like I can’t afford to pay a fortune) and then one must totally act nonchalant to all the other buyers so they don’t see what you are salivating for insert poker face.

Everyone has their own routine for estate sales…some go upstairs, some downstairs, some to the kitchen, some to the bedroom and some head outside to out buildings.  I live for ephemera so I typically head for books, photographs and magazines.  I also live for vintage clothing so I head to the bedrooms.  I live for vintage lace, so I head to the sewing area.  I live for handwritten recipes so I head to the kitchen.  I live for old dishes with  pink flowers so I head to the dining room.  I live for aprons so I head back to the kitchen.  I live for….well, I guess I like it all…

This time, I did a brief scan of the inside of the house…hmmmm…most people were heading to the back, so I head to the front of the house.  Going into a bedroom, I see a lady pick up what I WANT!  What I MUST HAVE!  Dang my parents for raising me with manners – I want to tackle that lady right then and there, I want to snatch that apron right out of her hand and triumphantly wave it in the air and shout I won!  I got it !

 

I don’t.

 

I wait.

 

and I wait.

 

and I wait.

 

until she puts it down and moves on.  Whew!  I walk over and pick it up, examine it like I could care less and then hold onto it with claws.

Moving down into the basement – I gasp!  A sewing room!!!!!!  Disappointingly, I didn’t really find much but some cobwebs.  I did find that I found myself wondering why the heck do men come to these things?  Men do NOT know how to shop – they stand and analyze    e  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g, make insulting comments like “what will you ever use that for”  and “do you really need that”,    never moving, always in the way- don’t they know you have to snatch and think later?  Go back to your man cave, please….

Once home, I spread out my goodies for you to see – quite a bargain for a grant total of $20, huh?

Aren't these just an awesome shade of vintage pink?

This actually came from a yard sale earlier in the day. Can't wait to alter this baby!

These are going to be fabulous to play with !

Difficult to see but these are glass leaves (wonder what they were originally intended for) that I am going to use at Thanksgiving.

I love love love this chair pincushion complete with pins! happy dance happy dance

Beautiful handwriting inside...full of autographs...from the '30s

I may just have to wear these some day

These three aprons are wonderful but what is the coolest is the 'rack' in front of them. I think it was used to press shirts or pants but I am going to use it for photos and whatnots.

What I did not get a picture of was a vintage book and hand mixer (that still works and I desperately need since my lovely sister-in-law burned mine up last year at Thanksgiving-tells you how often I need one !).

Lessons I learned today:

1.  Thanks heavens I don’t have asthma because I would have needed an inhaler before I got out of the car.

2.  I may need to mention stress test to my doctor.

3.  Hiding things purchased before husband returns equals a happy marriage.

4.  Men should stay at home and watch football.

5.  Two year olds running rampant in a house filled with glass should never be allowed.

6.  If your purse costs more than the most expensive thing in the estate sale, you need to leave.

7.  Pre-menopausal women can be pretty brutal when they see something they want need. 

8.  Playing the hearing impaired card when grabbing something is advantageous because you do not hear the astonished “gosh she’s horribly rude” and other can’t-quote-here-due-to-this-being-a-family-blog statements.